So far on my blog I am quite proud of what I have written and find it quite entertaining to write. Well, I am my own biggest fan! If you can’t love yourself then it is very difficult to love others! I think I’m just the same as most people, but I like to be a bit more open and true to myself. I guess I am writing this piece just for me to have a slightly introspective evening!
What led me to thinking about this was that in work this week and we had a gentleman come in to the office to collect money for some books he had left for people to potentially buy. I organised the orders for what people wanted to buy and made sure I had the money for when he arrived. This man said it was amazing that I was so organised to get everything so up together for when he arrived. I thought everyone would have done the same but apparently not!
I do not think it takes a lot to be organised and do a lot of little jobs like this, and I just find it naturally easy to set up a process and follow it through. I know often that processes and systems change, but on the whole it is not difficult to follow a process if it is done step by step. I am very particular that a job should be done correctly but I do not find it difficult to adapt if processes need to be changed, so long as there is a good reason. I often think it is important to constantly review procedures and processes so they do not become out of date. I guess this makes me very systems focused and I’ve been like this from an early age. Apparently this is unusual for someone with dyslexia. This may come from a fear of missing anything, or my values of not wanting to get anything wrong or be late for any appointment as it is quiet rude, and I do not like anyone being late as I do not like hanging around. This can however lead to trouble as often I am too early for things and have to hang around anyway!
Anyway, I got a little distracted in my last paragraph but the basic essence of what I am saying is to do things well. I am not a perfectionist by any stretch of the imagination but I am sure I could be if I never slept. This comes back to my blogging I want it to be good, I want it to be entertaining and I want people to enjoy reading it and to make people think! I have realised however I can get distracted by wanting to get things so correct and right that I can forget to eat or drink if I get absorbed in something. This is not always a good thing and should often take regular breaks to refresh myself and maybe get better results in the long run. I am not sure but I might just be over critical. I just like to be liked and feel that I should be. I feel I am a nice person and do unto others as I would like to be done unto me. This does not always happen.
Some people like to be disliked, for example the pantomime villain or the grumpy man at the bus stop; but I have never understood this. I guess it is another way of being. I do not mind people thinking I am odd or strange or different, because a lot of people do. However for people to think I do not work hard, I am lazy, I do not put energy into everything I set out to do would fill me with dread and I would hate people to hate me. There are people who do! I know some of these people, but I find them full of hate for the world and themselves and they do not have any respect for anyone but themselves.
I like to think I am a normal person who has one sister, brought up in a normal family in a normal house. My parents are still together and I speak to them and my sister (on the phone) regularly. I went to a normal school (although it did not seem normal at the time and I may blog about that later)! I did my homework on time and took a pride in what I did and how I appeared to others. However these days, I am finding less and less normal people. I guess I have to learn to ask my favourite question … What is normal anyway?
This blog started off to be a short one, asking the question about having pride in ones work, but is developing into a large, more general reaching of answers of society of a whole! My basic point of this blog was just to have a bit of a timeout and think about the world I am living in at the moment. This was to take a bit of time to analyse where I am and where my fellow man is in this ever changing world, but I am now seeking answers and asking more questions!
I am increasingly finding that this world does not have much room for somebody average like me. There are a lot of people in the world and I am but one, unique and individual. I feel however there are also a lot of people that want to fit in. I suppose I want to fit in and that is why I want to do a good job but there are many people who do not seem to want to, or do they want to but in a totally different way to what I deem to be normal. This is a constant struggle in my life to get inside other people’s heads and find out their motivation for their actions and reactions to life.
I seem to find a lot of people I come across like to drink lots of alcohol, swear, enjoy talking loudly, constantly have no money and do not look outside their world at all. Maybe I just mix with the wrong people! I think I do look outside myself as I wonder what is going on in other people’s heads and try and work it out. I think this is futile but is a constant hobby of mine. This is not a constant occupation of mine but it takes up a lot of my time, but not as much time as it used to when I was younger.
I do not want this to turn into a rant about society as a whole but more of a piece of interest, to find out if I am the only one that thinks that they are the only (so called) normal person? I know I am not the only normal person and not the only one who thinks what I think, but I would like to hear of other people’s opinions of normality. Some people may find it not normal to blog about their every thought, but I guess in a way it is therapeutic for me and can set out some basic rules for living.
I once went on a mood management course and they talked about rules for living. They asked me to come up with one rule I absolutely had to keep to, no matter what. I said:
“Do Not Lie”, they asked me to think of reason when it would be deemed acceptable to lie and at the time I had been very hurt by some big lies and had closed my mind to any possible good that would come from lying. I was asked to think about telling children about Santa Claus to give them the magic of Christmas, and telling a dying man that he will be okay so he would not feel the pain for too much longer and give him hope. This sort of made sense in a way that people may do things you do not immediately think of being logical or normal. This led me to think about my rules of living and that not everything was black and white, and rules for living would use two extremes and find a middle ground:
“Do not lie if it will cause physical or mental pain to yourself or others around you”.
Writing this blog I have thought a little about my first paragraphs and still want blog views and followers, because I still want to do well. I still want to be successful in everything I set out to do but guess I will tolerate people not doing things the same as me a bit easier. This blog is a bit of a lesson, it is a passage of writing through emotion, leading to a more harmonious outcome. I hope this has been as interesting to read as it has been to write. Perhaps me wanting this blog to be interesting and thought provoking is what has made it go on!
My final point is to conclude with is: I think I know that I am much like everyone else in the world but occasionally I feel so different to everyone else in the world. I know I am possibly and hopefully in the majority but why do I feel alone and in the minority? I guess this is because I am alone and I am the only one that is me! This may or may not be a good thing, but despite it being lonely being me it is also a good thing as I would not want to find anyone this good. It would be scary!